How to start over and lead a more fulfilling life

In this blog and video, we discuss fresh starts and how to start over. First, we need to realize where we are in relation to our goals and then get back on track.

“Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.”

Often attributed to Einstein

It is all too easy to become unhappy when not achieving your goals, although if you only look at them once a year and don’t work towards them every day, then getting off track is not a surprise to the trained eye.

Tell me the good news!

The good news is that there are many resources and excellent coaches who can help you know where you are going and help you stay on track. So don’t give up. Just be aware of what’s happening around you so that even when it’s hard, you’re always one step ahead!

It does not matter whether you were consciously creating your past or if that was created by circumstance, this is something that has shaped who you are, however you can begin to tell a new story at any point.

You create your own life

The question is if you are ready as a person to create your life consciously, spend more time with friends and supportive family members, the time to break the chains has arrived, take the time to set goals and achieve them.

First, you need to be honest with yourself. Are you happy to spend another day in your shoes, or would you like to spend a single day as the future you?

Free up some time to reflect, assess and plan

Take a break and start to plan your future, plan your ideal job and do not let your past define your life, take the past as a tool to use to create significant changes in your life, decide to take action and embrace the idea that you are in control of your life.

Believe me, and if I can take control of my life and understand that I created my reality, you can too. No matter what the past says about you to others, you can reinvent yourself at any time during your life.

All you need to do is to be honest with yourself. If you aren’t happy like many people who are disappointed with their lives and have inherited past situations based on unconscious creation, then perhaps it is time to begin creating your perfect life today!

Once a year is not enough to monitor our goals

Every new year, many of us make a list of resolutions for the next 365 days to change our lives and work out how to start over. However, if you have been making resolutions or plans throughout your entire life without success or if life has not been how you wanted it to be so far, you need to do something different and try to work out how to create a new life.

To live life on your terms is a huge opportunity

A fresh start is an opportunity to start living life on our terms and creating the future we could only dream about or perhaps not even comprehend a few years prior.

A fresh start is an opportunity to reinvent ourselves and to become the best version of ourselves. When we begin to achieve the dreams and the goals we have set our life takes a new direction.

Although it is not easy at first, you can start where you are!

It can be challenging at first when we are lost in the day to day or frightened about the steps we need to take; it can be daunting.

Living life on your terms may not be possible right now, and if you want to create a better life, you will need to let go of the bad parts of your old life. If your limiting beliefs have created negative thoughts and a negative situation you can still live life on your terms.

Cultivate the right mindset

If you want to start over in life and carve a new path. You will need to cultivate the right mindset to become the person that you need to be in order to embrace your new life and to live happily.

Being able to have a fresh start and completely change your life is exactly what you may need to do to rebuild your life. You may want to create a new life, a new beginning, a new career or even take on a new identity, you can do it!

You need to take action

The only thing is you need to remember you need to take action; you need to actually do something to change your life.

If you wish to have a new long-term relationship or get into one you will need to learn how to start over and create a new life.

Everyone is different, just start where you are

Exactly what you have to do will be different for each person, you may just want to get your business running the way you want it to, you may wish to get your career working as you want it to, you may feel stuck by your prior decisions and the path you have taken and you may be scared of the status quo changing.

You may want to live in a new part of the world, change your physical space and change your life. Your family may support you or not. Your job may not be your ideal job, do not worry, everyone has problems once they realize they can control their future life and live it in a certain way that they never dreamed possible before.

Everyone starts at a different place in life and can start fresh!

Things happen in life, and the exact steps you need to take will be different for everyone; although taking the time to work out what you aren’t happy with in relation to your plan, your job and your life is the best place to start.

You may be reading this and not have a plan, that is ok too, you can start today and embrace the precious gift of being able to create a fresh start in your world and begin to reinvent your life.

I have put together some tips to help you get started on your journey. Put them into action and watch what happens!

I think initially with change and new starts there is a panic about what to do, but it becomes less stressful as the person gets more used to change and accepts it as a normal part of life.

Set new goals for yourself 

Start by being clear about the things that are really important to you. Then, look around at all the things in your life that aren’t really worth it or aren’t helping you to achieve them.

A new start is sometimes necessary, especially if you aren’t happy

A fresh start is a bit like crossing your arms the wrong way. At first, it feels challenging but then becomes more effortless.

The speed of change and fresh starts, a time for reflection. Isn’t it. And what I’m finding, talking to businesses is they’re looking at and reflecting on whether or not they’re as far forward as they hoped to be at this point. And you start to realize how fast time is going.

Start by being clear about the things that are really important to you. If we don’t make changes now, then we’ll run out of time.

Change is with us throughout our lives and embracing it is key!

If we don’t make some changes now, then we’re going to run out of time to be able to make them. And I guess that’s why we decided within 30 seconds of saying, should we talk about this subject on video we just did it!

Embrace the change

Because actually, that is how change happens for it as change is at pace. And sometimes we don’t have the time to reflect, digest, go through the change curve. We know we’ve still got to go through it. We know that we still have to access that knowledge and grieve and all of those stages.

Change happens all the time!

Sometimes the change is now and it’s how do we best adapt to that? So we thought we’d style it out and see how it works because we’ve not really thought this through, but we’ve known a lot about change.

Change is happening all of the time. So the question is how do we deal with change when change is just thrust upon us?

I think initially there is a, there is panic initially every time? We get very stressed about things and a bit lost sometimes, we need to know where we’re going.

And if we don’t know where we’re going, then we need to just stop what we’re doing. And if it’s not going to kill us, then we need to stop what we’re doing and make a list of things that we actually want to achieve and actually create a vision. Create a vision for your business and your life.

And every day, ask yourself this question: “Is what I’m doing today going to help me towards the vision that I have for our business?”

If you don’t know where you are going any path will do

Yeah. It allows you to have that blueprint, isn’t it? You know, it’s the old adage you said, if you don’t know where you’re going, any path will get you there. And you, therefore, don’t know if you’re on the wrong path or the right path. Cause you don’t really know where you’re going.

Whereas at least having a vision, having a plan, having a strategy doesn’t mean to say, there won’t be bumps along the road. It doesn’t mean to say that you didn’t think you were going to achieve it one way and actually life has other plans, but it allows you to be focused on where you’re heading, which allows our subconscious brain, which as we know, is the happiest little helper.

That’ll help us to understand what’s important to us. And in understanding what’s important to us, it looks for opportunities to help us achieve our goal, to help us reach our destination and fulfil our vision.

There was a study done by Harvard business review. And in this study, they went and asked people about whether or not they’d got a goal.

The study found that 13% of people have a goal, but only 3% have a written down plan with a specific course of action to get there.

The other 10% had got it written down, knew what it was, but no more detail. The additional 87% either didn’t have a goal. And didn’t have it written down.

The 13% that had some form of goal written or not achieved 10 times more than anybody else in the 87%. And that’s because we are channelling our thinking, we’re channelling our emotional brain, we’re channelling our subconscious brain. And you look into like kind of the distribution of the world’s wealth. And it’s no real surprise that when we think about where 50% of the world’s wealth is, it’s in the top 1% of the world. And you layer that back to the 3% that actually had a goal and knew where they were heading. So it’s so important that we understand what it is that we’re trying to achieve, and where we’re heading to help us to one go along that journey ourselves.

We need to have a clear vision and a goal especially if others are included

We can help explain to them where we’re going, why we’re going and why it’s essential, it’s not the people who change, but life and life situations that change. And that’s so true, yet we remain who we are, our values, our beliefs, they remain as it is. They can be tweaked over time as we learn new experiences.

We may need to change the inner dialogue

Or for example, if we want to do the inner work that says the beliefs or the labels that we’re using are no longer serving us and we can go make those changes, but fundamentally we are who we are, but it is about how we respond and react and move forward with whatever’s going on around us to be the most productive version of ourselves.

Keep fixed on your vision for your life

Having this goal, this vision of where we want to get to is crucial. Michael Tobin OBE has said in many of the interviews that we did: “You know, you’re going to get Ubered along the way. Things are not going to go as you want them to go. But if you, if you keep your vision, you will get there.”

Stay focused on that vision of where you want to be. You write it down, you think about it every day, right. And you aim towards it, then it doesn’t matter what happens. Life situations can occur. Yes, you can be pushed back and it happens. But a lot of the time you benefit from that actually in many, many ways and it can build resistance, it can build resilience, it can create more determination in many cases and other skills that you learned along the way.

Knowing why it’s important because sometimes when it feels too hard – why is what pulls you back

The next time you say: “I don’t have the time, or I don’t have the money or I don’t have the resources or I don’t have the whatever…”

Try reframing that conversation by saying: “It’s not important to me!” And see how well that sits. And I promise you, it’s powerful because the minute you look at that and go, it’s not essential to me to do that. It hits your value set. If your why is on the money, then it hits your value, set. It hits deep in your emotion. And you flip the script: “That’s not right. It is important to me.”

“If it’s important to me, I’ll find a way.”

“Obstacles are the things that we see when we take our eye off the goal.”

“If it is important, I’ll find a way! if it isn’t, I find an excuse”

Ask yourself, “Is this important to me? Because if it is, will I accept that excuse from myself?”

Hold yourself to account!

A new start is exhilarating and using it to energize yourself is certainly possible. So, for example, you can be working in your business. And maybe you get a bit sort of bored or not de-motivated, but just a little bit overwhelmed with what you’ve got to do, but, but then another opportunity arises to market your business differently or grow some sales channels in a different route, or for example, learn some new skills.

And those things actually can bring you back to your happy place which enables you to reenergize and move forward.

It is not too late to move forward, no matter what goals you have set for yourself. There are many resources and coaches out there who can help you so don’t give up!

Many coaches want a conversation because they’re not getting as many clients as they want to. They’re seeing that everybody’s saying they need a coach, but they seem not to be able to connect that work. We often fall into the trap of working in our business, not on our business and our role is to work on it. So we’ve got to be able to, and you know, I LEAN everything I possibly can that allows us to start working in it and start working on it. Cause that’s when you begin to see the opportunities around there to help you go and achieve your goal.

Work on your business and not in it! 

It doesn’t matter where you are in your business. You can get sucked into working in it and not on it!

But very often, whether you’re a small business owner, an entrepreneur, a senior leader in a big corporate, you get sucked into the day-to-day. You get sucked into being in the business.

Carve out some time for yourself

One of the most important lessons that you can learn is to carve out some time for yourself to be really strict with that and focus that time on working on it, not in it because you’d be amazed at the difference it has.

I’m going to think about where is it we need to be? Why is that important? Where is it we’re heading? And then take an honest stock of where am I today?

The GROW model is great for that from a revisit. What is my goal? What is it that I’m being asked to do on behalf of the organization? How do I check where it is? And then be strict with me on what’s my reality. If that’s the goal and the goals are wavering, where am I now?

And why have I got here? How do I move those parts around? And then once I did that, and I would carve out the first couple of hours, that would have been my original commute and I would then go right with that revised enthusiasm with that revised focus on where it is I’m heading, why it’s important, what it is I’ve got to do.

I’m now going to look at this stack of things that are on my pending pile. Things that I’m asked to look at and I’m going to work through them at that pace; with that renewed vigour, I’m going to be able to tell my people how what I’m asking them to do links into the bigger vision. So if they’re feeling a little bit like, oh, I’m a little bit zapped of energy, as you’ve just explained, then actually start with something else that goes, this is why we’re doing it and why it’s essential, it reenergizes us. And therefore, we can get the momentum to get through the tasks we need to do. So I think it’s a crucial skill. It’s undoubtedly helpful in navigating some fairly significant change for people and organizations because it keeps you centred on why.

We hope you enjoyed this blog. If you would like more tips, we have loads more posts on this topic as goal setting is fundamental to success in life and business. Whether you are a person who works for a corporation or yourself, if you aren’t in line with your goals, you are not in control of your future job/career/business success.

You can learn about GROW coaching here.

Checkout: How To Live The Life You Deserve In No Time with Vandana Tolani

Checkout: Ultimate Guide To Goal Setting To Ensure 100 % Success